Four pregnancies in as many years may have put an end to my svelte girlish figure but my more ample proportions don’t maintain themselves. This requires the regular consumption of chocolate. Though admittedly alcohol also plays a part. However, that is mainly medicinal-without the fortifying drink motherhood would drive me mad. Excess calories are merely a side effect.
Mother’s day has well come and gone again. The annual offerings of chocolate have been made, accepted and consumed. My selfless children once again sacrificed themselves and ate the ones I didn’t like. As if such a thing exists (okay there is that tasteless white filth but they know better than to call that chocolate within my hearing). We all know that there is no chocolate I don’t like, just like I don’t actually prefer the burnt bit of anything, this is just a pretence that allows them to eat the gifts they gave me. You know what I’m talking about, all mothers play the game with their young.
Anyway, presentation is everything, so naturally my chocolates came in the prettiest cup the St Louis mother’s day gift stall had to offer. Fine imported porcelain covered in pink and purple unicorns and fairies. I exclaimed my delight and rushed to the sink to wash off the made in China sticker from the bottom of the cup.
That’s when things turned weird.
Underneath the sticker were the words For Decorative Purposes Only, Not Intended for the Serving of Foods or Beverages.
It’s a cup. If it can’t be used for the serving of food or beverages what’s the point of it. In fact, if it can’t be slung in the dishwasher it has no business being in my kitchen.
That aside, it has left me with a picture of somebody somewhere with rooms full of display cases holding similar overly feminised cups that have never know the glory of serving food of beverages.
I feel a little sorry for them.
The cups that is.
And maybe the person too.