Monday, March 31, 2008

No more swinging from the chandeliers

Picture a chandelier.
No, that one’s far too nice.
Make it domestic, circa 1974.
Give it five arms.
Terminate each arm in a clear plastic bowl especially designed to maximize dust collection.
Festoon the entire thing with ropes of clear plastic beads.
Make sure the wire knots holding everything together are clearly visible.
Liberally sprinkle with large faceted plastic teardrops, which look like nothing so much as … well, large faceted plastic teardrops.
Overlay it all with a patina of age.
This was the first thing I saw every morning.
For the last 13 years.
Finally it is gone.
It will not be missed.