Size Matters

Apparently it's true what they say, size matters.
At least to men, anyway.
That's the only explanation I can think of. Why else would my hero insist on having the biggest one?
I managed to convince him that something smaller would be better.
And he agreed, eventually.
But only to something slightly smaller. As it was, it only just fit into the car.
I must admit though that I've got used to the size much faster than I thought I would.
Perhaps at heart size matters to us girls more than we like to admit.
Though it may be that after a week of watching the tiny tv the wide screen only looks huge in comparison. On the other hand maybe it is really massive. That's what you get for letting a man choose the TV.

Thanks St Anthony

I may have mentioned that while we were away we lost the memory card from our camera and with it all of our photographs from London, Paris, Bath and Stonehenge. We looked everywhere, tearing my mother-in-law's house apart in the search, and to my great disappointment couldn't find it. When we returned home we even removed the linings of our suitcases in our hunt for the missing memory card. All to no avail.
So imagine my surprise when I walked into my bedroom this afternoon and saw a memory card sitting on top of my satchel-as if it had fallen from the ceiling.
I didn't want to get my hopes up and loaded it into the camera thinking I'd probably find 200 pictures of the cat. But lo-there was the Eiffle tower winking back at me!
It was the lost memory card-with most of the photos intact (London seems to be missing but I will continue to work on it.)
I don't know where the card was, or why it has turned up now but I am happy to have it back.
As the patron of lost things St Anthony gets my thanks-as does whoever petitioned him on our behalf (since it wasn't us).
Now as soon as I work out how it's done I'll be able to post some photos.

A Big Thanks

I have returned from my time in the UK with an addiction. I love trashy magazines. Not of the celebrity gossip, latest Hollywood diet and fashion kind, but of the reptiles really rule the earth, crop circles are really messages from beyond and my cat saved me from poltergeist variety.
I’ve always loved a good ghost story (having lived in a couple of haunted houses myself) and I do have a soft spot for a good conspiracy theory (or, let’s be honest, even a bad one, in fact, I don’t know which is more fun-completely whacked out theories or those plausible enough to make you wonder). While we were away I discovered a plethora of magazines devoted to these and other out there subjects. My nearest and dearest simply don’t understand my fascination and I’m sure the in-laws are just a little concerned about what my hero has married into but I was delighted to discover ‘chat It’s Fate!’, ‘the Fortean Times’ and their many contemporaries.
Sadly Australia offers no equivalent reading material, so you can imagine my delight when a friend offered to pick me up a couple of magazines while she’s passing through London. However I do believe that she may now be regretting the offer given that being seen purchasing the requested material makes her feel a little bit (and here I quote) “like a sky clad, crystal bedecked, om chanting, Gaia sentient fringe dweller”.
So I hereby acknowledge the sacrificed dignity and extraordinary embarrassment that she has suffered on my behalf in the purchasing of this material. And to any who doubted her, yes it really is for a ‘friend’.

The $850,000 question

Apparently I have WON the UK NATIONAL LOTTERY!!!
Extraordinary. Particularly considering I’ve never even heard of the Online Sweepstakes International program, let alone bought a ticket.
But that’s a minor detail. All I have to do to claim my winnings is send my personal details to some stranger and they’ll send me a check for 850,000 pounds sterling.
I’m usually a little wary of giving out that kind of information over the internet but Mr. Emmanuel Loiseau is obviously a man of honour. After all he went to a lot of trouble to track me down via hotmail, especially considering that I never even bothered to buy a ticket in his lottery. And it must have been difficult to find me since my hotmail address bears no relation to my actual name at all.
So how to spend my new found wealth.
I want to put this windfall to the best use possible but there are so many deserving charities and let’s not forget family and friends.
The decision has been a hard one but I’ve decided that nice prince from the displaced Nigerian Royal Family needs it more than anybody else.
So Emmanuel, if could forward my cheque onto him that would be brilliant.
In the meantime, there’s a lot of lotteries out there I haven’t entered, I’m going to sit back here and rake in the big bucks.

When in Rome

….bring me back the tackiest papal souvenir you can find. But be warned competition for most tasteless memento on my shelf of tat is fierce. The contenders are:
• The dual A-side medallion featuring both Popes in glorious living colour. Reminiscent of the photographs one sometimes sees embedded in grave markers in modern lawn cemeteries this piece is positively tasteful compared to-
• The clear acrylic paperweight featuring not one, not two, but three church fathers etched within; rotating stand with multi-coloured up lighting optional. Nothing says piety like a ‘batteries not included’ sticker on the box. This, however, is stylish and sophisticated when compared to-
• The Pope Snow Globe. Formerly a front runner in the can-it-get-any-tackier-than-that stakes I feel its innate crassitude has been out shone by-
• The Plaster Pieta. This plaster replica of Michelangelo’s Pieta fulfils the Artist’s Ultimate Vision. I am certain that if temperature sensitive paint had been available in1499 he would have splashed it indiscriminately all over his bland marble sculpture. The addition of glitter to this timeless piece is nothing short of genius. I am so glad the manufacturers spared no expense in production.

A big thank-you to Alex for her ongoing contributions to this phenomenal collection. No really, thanks, thanks a lot.